Dave Foulk Internet Flyer

You’ve seen it….

A network reporter leans against hurricane force wind, an anemometer in his or her hand, telling us that…. Yes…it is quite windy in a hurricane.   Another network reporter sits in a canoe doing a report on flooding, while some passer-by walks in the background, the water just over his shoe tops.  A nationally broadcast program gets big ratings with ambush journalism, barging into a business to ask questions to some person suspected of wrong doing.  Another one makes ratings rumbles by revealing microbes in restaurant fare.

Meanwhile, back at the local shop….

Local reporters rush outside with their own anemometers to tell us that it’s windy outside, and that it’s dangerous to be out in storms.

Some enterprising locals buy their own waders so they can get the same “feel” as that network shot.

“On your side”,  “Working For You”, and all kinds of other consumer oriented pieces show up, with reporters specializing in surprising low-down business dealers when the TV camera shines the light of guilt on them.  And although restaurant inspection grades have been public information for decades, they are suddenly turned into weekly reports.

There is little difference in radio.  The philosophy is “what is successful in one town will be successful in another”.   There are few music programmers or music directors at stations in mid to large markets who pick their own songs independently.  Each song is researched.  The program managers can tell you how the song scored and how often it should be played.  And there are computer programs designed to mesh that data with the desired tempo and type of song, and even time the music to come out on-time at the top of the hour.

These music programs include the length of time between when the music starts playing and the singing starts. It also knows the end when the singing stops and the music keeps playing.  Stay with me here because this is important.

That same computer program can allow a person to “voice track” a radio show.  In other words, the show host can walk into a studio, record their voice introducing a song, and speaking between songs.  With locally oriented comments and “liners” to read, the announcer seamlessly meshes their voice with the music, and in only a short time, a three hour program can be recorded.

That same announcer can record several locally oriented comments and liners for another city, and their program can be e-mailed or satellite fed to other stations.  There is one group of stations that has a studio in the central part of the United States that voice tracks programs for their stations in several time zones.   The listener never knows the difference, maybe.  And the same songs are played in all of those same markets.

Even if the programs are not voice tracked, but done live the music will likely be the same.  Large radio station groups have music consultants that tell them what is good to play, and what is not.  By now, you are probably figuring out why the stations sound the same.

A “Zoo Crew” works in one city and everybody copies it.  Howard Stern gets nasty, and Opie and Anthony follow suit.   If Stern had gained ratings with some other schtick, he would have had just as many copiers.

Creativity runs downhill.  And quality goes downhill.

I have a good friend who worked in television news for years.  He can watch a newscast and tell you exactly which consultant works with that news shop.  He knows which consultants like the sensational crime news, and the sexed-up scripts.  He also can tell you which ones like the folksy “we’ve been here since Farnsworth invented TV, and we’re just home folks” kind of television newscasts.

If we had a giant television tuner that could pick up every local TV station in the country, with only a few exceptions, the colors would look the same on the sets, the graphics would look the same, and for the most part, the racial and gender make-up of the people delivering the news would be the same.  Think I wrong?  Look at network TV morning shows.

Poor CBS news runs so far behind in the mornings, they would probably be willing to go back to a Chimp and an anchorman like the “Today” show in its early form.  But ABC and NBC programs are remarkably similar with their male white guy, their female, white gal, and black weather guy.  Fox news does the same with their three morning personalities.  CBS couldn’t find a black weather guy, so they used another minority on TV…a fat person.  

You see few deviations from the anchor formula on any local station. And if a local news director dared try something different, such as having anchors stand instead of sit, or cut sports time, or do weather differently, the consultant would have a coronary and the general manager lose their water in fear of taking some kind of step away from the norm, and possibly away from whatever share of the market audience they already have.

You might have heard about focus groups.  They’re a panel of people who are interviewed by advertising agencies, psychometric experts, consulting gurus, and managers.  Often, the focus group does not know exactly what information the questioners are probing for.  But the information they give in their conversations and opinions is extrapolated into The Law.  

The Law is laid down to news directors and producers.  “This is what ye shall do in order to gain followers, saith the focus people.”

These small panels are used to tell news directors which stories might be “hot button” items to the viewers.  The people who assemble these groups supposedly take care to get a diverse group.  These focus groups hold a lot of power when it comes to the appearance and personality types of the people you see on local television.

I know a woman who used to work in television news.  She is young and very attractive.   The consultant came to town, and declared that her make-up was not quite right, and that her hair had to be re-done.  The idea was to sharpen up the features, give a more aggressive look to her, and in her opinion, make her look like a member of the clown troupe from Ringling Brothers.   She was even told to make her hand gestures different when she spoke.

I don’t have her permission to use her name, so I won’t.  But she was once a successful reporter, a good journalist who worked for me- and now works outside the news business.  It was too much smoke and mirrors and not enough reporting, and it is journalism’s loss.

Can you imagine Dave Garroway, Charles Kuralt, or, for that matter, any number of famous television news reporters and anchors who would never have made the cut…simply because of their looks?

Next:  How radio is like an oil  supertanker.

That first peel of the onion shows us television news producers are willing to at least try the same look and feel of a newscast in another town in order to improve the ratings in their own market.  They “buy the package” from production houses that supply the music, the graphics, and sometimes, even the set design.  Well, at least it takes the worry out of having to come up with something on your own, right?

When you start writing for money every weekday morning at 4:30, it's easy to slack off on your habit of writing for the sheer enjoyment of it. At 3:30 in the morning, the clock alarm can sound like the klaxon on a submarine signaling a dive, you are sometimes so tired your hair hurts and it takes every ounce of willpower to get moving...and don't hit that snooze button another time.

I am sure the internet has been no better, or no worse because I have been absent from these electronic pages. But I have missed it.

When I anchor an hourly newscast, I usualy have a maximum of a minute and twenty seconds of pure news time. On-the-air, the writing has to be sharp and to the point. No time for multi-syllable words or dependent clauses, or any of those high-falutin' English Class whatch-a-ma-callits. I can remember doing endless sentence diagrams. When I write for your ear, the sentence diagrams have to be short and straight- with none of those slanty lines going off in a tangent.

That's why this is so much fun. I can drive my words anywhere I want, up....down...backwards...and even in wonderful sweeping curves if I think it will get my point across to my friends who read these sentences.

I can say what I think on these pages. And I can say it like I want to say it.

So I promise I will do better. I will write more often. And, we can meet on these pages and share thoughts, and let each other's fingers fly on the keyboard with all kinds of ideas.

The topic of my next post is going to be a commentary on the inner workings of the broadcast news business. I hope it will give you some insight into what you see and hear. The cook is going to tell you what's in the stew.

But for now, it's past my bedtime, and my eyes are starting to see two of everything- a signal that my monitor watching is through for now.

Tomorrow is a brand new day.