Dave Foulk Internet Flyer

Some examples from recent times:

• American Idol is a television hit, so radio stations all over America glom on to the idea with their own talent shows and interviews, as radio tries to parrot a television success.
• Fox News on television is successful with its production values and audio “swooshes” and zingy sounds between stories…cartoon effects. So ABC Radio news tried to do their one minute radio updates with a little “swoosh” of its own between stories. It sounded stupid, and they quit- probably after local stations complained.
• One station group started a format that played all kinds of music, and it was a success in that market. Stations all over the country adopted the idea. Some of them were successful, others were failures. They were all copies of the original.
• A group of stations decides a particular format is a winner, so it uses the same personality types, the same logos, the same advertising, and even the same image voices other station in the group with the similar type of programming.

It’s not that broadcasters are out of ideas; it’s that they are all looking for other successful ideas they can adapt to their own station or group.

These days, originality can make you a hero, or a pariah. For many programmers, it’s take the safe route. You can hide in the bomb craters left by the other guys mistakes.

We read stories of large ships that collide with each other and docks, and other things that might be in their path- and wonder how something that big could blunder into trouble. It’s all about the pilot and the rudder. The pilot provides the brains and the rudder provides the physical power to make course corrections.

But there’s a catch.

When something that big has to make a turn, the pilot has to anticipate the maneuver and turn the rudder carefully. The ship might sail on for a mile or so before the correct heading is completed.

So, let’s say the pilot of one of those big supertankers is a bit addle-brained. He realizes that his ship is a few degrees off course, so he turns the wheel. Nothing happens. So he turns the wheel even more. Now the ship has sailed about a half-mile and is making a slight turn, but the pilot has panicked at the slow response and turned the wheel several revolutions in one direction.

Then, the rudder starts to take hold and the ship makes a sharp turn that is far off the slight turn the pilot wanted. A mile has passed and the ship is heeling over in a sharp turn now, and the pilot spins the wheel back in the other direction.

Instead of straightening up…in a mile or so the ship is heeling over in the opposite direction. And the huge ship is waddling all over the ocean.

That’s how many radio stations are programmed. The pilots- program managers are spinning the wheel from one side to another as they watch ratings trends and research results. The ship ..er.. radio station never gets a chance to get straightened up to see just what heading it’s on. And the pilot never looks out at the sea.

Instead, the decision making becomes a waddling process; a see-saw of trial an error on a six-week cycle. The trouble is, I don’t believe radio listeners, or television watchers for that matter, are on a six week cycle. Broadcast consumer habits are formed over months and years, and in my opinion, formed as much by word-of-mouth advertising as anything else.

One point of digression: even the radio commercials are formulaic. You might see the same advertisement for a particular format of broadcasting, with only the call letters and logo changed. It’s quick and easy…and cheap. And it is also an assumption that what will appeal to listeners and motivate them to change dials in one town will work with the listeners in another. Think about it. Radio formats are so similar from one town to another that even the commercials for them are the same, the logos look alike, and Lord knows they all sound the same.

There was a time in radio broadcasting where programmers were given time to see if a particular change was in their favor. No more. This high pressure world is best described in the fable called “Make Three Envelopes”:

Once upon a time there was a brand new radio program director. His predecessor had been fired for poor ratings. This new fellow seemed to have success from the station he was running in another city. As luck would have it, the two programmers met at the doorway, one with his box of personal effects heading out the door, and the other with his cardboard box headed into his new office.

“In case you have ratings trouble”, said the outgoing programmer to the new guy, “I left you three sealed envelopes numbered one, two and three, for you to open- you know, just in case” The new manager thanked him politely, but thought to himself that he would never have to open any such envelope.

Twelve weeks later, after the “honeymoon period” for the new guy, the news wasn’t good. The ratings numbers were a disappointment, so he decided that he had better open envelope number one. On a card inside, he read the words:

“Blame the old program director”

After six weeks and some more dismal ratings, the new programmer had to open the second envelope. It read:

“Blame the on-air staff”.

After firing the personalities and bringing in a new crew, the ratings were still not meeting the goal, so it was time for the third envelope to be opened. It read:

“Now, make three envelopes.”

True, it’s a silly story, but I think it speaks to some of the problems we see and hear on-the-air. There is a flood of people who want to do the job, but a drought of original ideas. And when one original idea is a success, we tend to suck the very life out of it, glom onto an idea and assume it will work for any city in the United States.

But for Pete’s sake, don’t do anything original. Stick with the plan. It works everywhere else.